朱恐龍
朱恐龍

提前預告:本站不過騎人節! (29217 views)
     

本站對於一年一次紀念織女騎牛郎或是牛郎騎織女的傳說和節日沒有興趣,我也不太懂為啥大家要歡天喜地的打攪遠距戀情的兩個人一年一次的打炮日...

所以,請大家勿拿相關議題灌水,謝謝....orz...

Lucifer

不禁又把高中時的團體鐵血除奸團拿出來.....

這就是傳說中當年被我寫到倒閉的專欄文章...

未來台灣的最大團體會是什麼?民進黨?親民黨?國民黨?都不對,是去死去死團!

在我高中的時候,身邊一夥熱血的兄弟因為當時沒有什麼光碟燒錄技術,光華商場的發展也沒有今日之興盛,門口不會有金髮青年問你:「老闆,要不要A光?」因此,每逢情人節大家更是份外的孤寂。於是,我們組成了一個小小的團體「鐵血除奸團」。它唯一的任務和工作就是在情人節時彰顯單身者的正義,使用狼牙棒、大木棒等鐵血工具,讓那些帶著女友在街頭展示國力的人能夠體會那種孤寂與淒苦的感覺。不過,當然,我們不是混黑道的,本團體僅僅停留在紙上作業階段,一次任務都沒有出過。

但是,在多年以後,我竟然發現這種精神和理想獲得了繼承!那就是勢力越來越大的「去死去死團」。這個團的名稱由來過程極度複雜,但總之只要想像一下一個情形應該就可以理解該狀況:單身的男性(或是女性)孤身走在情人節的街道上,看到成雙成對的情侶時心中想說的會是什麼話呢?「去死去死吧!」因此本團故得名。根據內政部所公布的資料顯示,去死去死團應該會是未來最大的民間團體,而且勢力會越來越大。根據該資料說明,目前台灣十五歲以下的每一個年齡的男性都比女性多出一萬人,九歲以下的男寶寶更比女寶寶多出十二萬人!!!所以,未來大家別想過什麼情人節了,還是想想如何與去死團伙伴一起慶祝比較實在!

網路上流傳的去死去死團入團規定相當的簡單:
1.無女友者才可入團(註:女友夠醜者除外)
2.對於路上敗壞風俗之情侶須抱持鄙視之心
3.凡我輩之人皆須以拆散他人為己任

只要有心,人人都可以入團。根據派駐世界各國的去死團成員回報,目前只有日本分部與台灣一樣悲慘,必須熬過情人節和白色情人節兩天團殤日,其他國家都只需度過哀傷的一天。

另外,情人節也是許多意志不堅的去死團員意圖脫團的日子,所以連網路遊戲都會舉辦去死團的活動轉移大家的注意力。而根據眾多情人節學者的分析,去死團員們的生態多半都是以入團→意圖脫團→告白→獲得答案:「你是個好人」→再度入團,並悔恨於自己的輕率→成為忠貞去死團員。

在本文的最後,建議我國的趨勢觀察家們應該及早為了我國成為去死共和國的前途而做準備,在即將修整的憲法中加上科取戀愛稅、失戀者免當兵、公開場合情侶不得牽手等重大條款。如此一來,國際間的去死團員必定大量湧入,屆時我國必將更為國際化,吸取更多外匯,甚至更能成為國際間重要的領導者!如此趨勢,怎可不趕快準備之!

看到騎人節的活動,我的內心就如同這則廣告一樣的澎湃洶湧....

(請注意地址)

本圖盜連自本站網友之BLOG
http://gamebug-blog.blogspot.com/2007/08/blog-post_1634.html

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迴響(242)

迴響 from: CornGuo [訪問者] · http://cornguo.twbbs.org
去死團的團員們,分給我一些力量吧 (拿著 Wii Remote,雙手向上舉)
2007-08-17 @ 22:09
迴響 from: 陳穎 [訪問者] · http://blog.pixnet.net/ottocat
今年有個去死去死颱風來了~~
2007-08-18 @ 00:51
迴響 from: MaRc [訪問者]
颱風是吧...來個『我論騎人節巧遇颱風之對台灣生育率的影響!』
2007-08-18 @ 01:13
迴響 from: 朱恐龍 [成員]
我....我沒考過托福啊,我也沒出國留學過,我的英文都是打電動學的....
(工商服務時間:欲知詳情請購買

http://www.books.com.tw/exep/prod/booksfile.php?item=0010347603

在騎人節的標題下寫這個真沒說服力...)

所以說萬一我要出國留學,我還得要考托福去補習哩....不知道補習班會不會有正妹...^_^

你說的OUTPUT的部分就是練習,從多跟人家說話,多上台做演講開始,我到現在光是英文的Keynote就有四五場,累積聽眾可能快兩千人了...:>

Lucifer

不練一切都沒輒啦~~~而且要把握一個原則,對英文母語的老外來說,大部分隨便說說他們也聽的懂....

對英文非母語的老外來說,隨便說說虎他們,搞不好他們會以為聽不懂是他們英文爛...orz...
2007-08-18 @ 08:40
迴響 from: abc [訪問者]
老大! 補習班當然有正妹啊~
不過看老大這副模樣,
可能會有有眼不識泰山的正妹,
會說怎麼會有個像熊一樣的男人在教室裡XD
2007-08-18 @ 23:49
迴響 from: 潛水夫 [訪問者]
"對英文母語的老外來說,大部分隨便說說他們也聽的懂...."
這個我相信, 我老闆是外國人, 我經常只一些簡單的單字拼湊來跟他對話, 他還能懂.

"對英文非母語的老外來說,隨便說說虎他們,搞不好他們會以為聽不懂是他們英文爛..."
這個目前還沒機會試, 無法驗證.
2007-08-20 @ 12:28
迴響 from: Rick [訪問者] · http://driad013.wordpress.com/
自從我拿到朱老大的雞雞學之後...這次的騎人節我意外的...
脫團了阿!!!
真是不敢相信!

還說我明年不一定交得到,哈哈
朱老大的雞雞學 如有神助XD

我要好好的膜拜
2007-08-21 @ 03:31
迴響 from: 潛水夫 [訪問者]
真的要好好的膜拜.

記得, 要早晚三柱香喔!!!!
2007-08-21 @ 09:38
迴響 from: 幼幼 [訪問者]
沒有情人的人歡迎加入去死團! 歡迎你來交流喔~ 看你的相貌不凡 想必是個人才
最後祝 騎人節快樂
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