朱恐龍
朱恐龍

我要玩真‧立委無雙! (26221 views)
     

本BLOG很堅持的一件事情,就是走出自己的路!

所以本人堅持的只有一點:完全不管讀者的需求,要寫出男子漢真正的心情,在這樣的前提之下,即使被罵作不要臉、沒品、胖宅、高樹瑪麗亞的奴隸等等稱號,我也無怨無悔!

話說前一陣子身為阿宅的我,竟然遇到了一件不可思議的事情,竟然有兩個團體找我當不分區立委的候選人!(搖晃)

顯然是由於阿宅力量的覺醒,所以本人竟然被視作利益團體:阿宅眾的代表!不過.......由於我的Wii買了之後到現在還沒有拆封,代表我竟然忙到沒有時間玩電動!所以我對社會充滿了憤恨之情,因此婉拒了對方的邀請!(人家這麼給面子,我們不好意思笑他們找阿宅啦!)

但由於本阿宅平常經常收看阿宅聖經「餵雞百科」,所以我對立法院早就有許多的嚮往,因此我要在此執筆一篇小學作文:如果我玩真‧立委無雙

http://tinyurl.com/2zns77
(大量資料來自於阿宅聖經餵雞百科,意思就是我偷偷從那邊下載的,幸好目前沒人告我)


看哪!遊戲畫面充滿了各種挑戰,激起我的阿宅魂!


看哪,遊戲角色變化多端,激起阿宅的熱血!


看哪,小兵數量眾多,可以充分體驗一騎當千的砍殺快感!


讚呀!必須穿透重重防衛,熱血戰鬥,發動多次無雙之力才能夠直取最後武將!


爽呀!多種武器殺傷力強大,且可以升級,充滿了本土情懷!

這麼好玩的遊戲,如果我要玩的話.....(陷入白日夢幻想中)


第一個:我他媽的要當趙雲,因為他最帥!不准叫我當許褚、孟獲這種死胖子!

而且,如果有機會我要問很多遊戲中的人物問題!


首先:我要請問無黨派第一戰將:相撲標太郎問題!(這可不是我亂取的名字,你自己點上面這張圖到他網站上去看看!而且他還是私立神州高中畢業的!你說這是不是很像是魁!男塾的名字!所以我說我最敬佩標太郎了!)

第一、請問....請問.....(小小聲)請問如何把正妹?
(正妹一)

你知道我們阿宅很多都很胖,一胖之後就沒有人緣.....可是,可是標太郎你們家的人都好厲害,都可以把到正妹,我們阿宅很羨慕啊嗚嗚嗚嗚.....

(不知道哪位偉人這麼厲害,可以把這張照片拍的好像賭神一樣)


(然後這張是正妹二.....)

喔喔喔!標哥讓我們追隨你啊啊啊啊啊~~~~

正妹問題是真正很重要的阿宅團體的民生問題,請標太郎幫我們解決啊啊啊啊......你家一定有密藏什麼追正妹絕招或是科技,解救阿宅眾吧!

PS:林公益世好像在這方面也很努力!

第二、很多鄉民都說你很會作消波塊,請問是不是真的?阿宅可不可以學?

感覺這跟傳說中的死亡筆記本一樣厲害,而且對國家社會都有幫助,可以保護海岸線,我也要學!

然後我還要問一個人:

......

.......

........

請問是不是真的玩真‧立院無雙的時候就可以全都請正妹助理?

請問是不是請了正妹助理之後就可以叫她小文?

請問是不是以後可以經常到汽車旅館去辦公....辦公....辦公.....(糟了,我腦中保險絲燒壞了)

而且其實我還有很多其他的問題!

我要出示立委證,看看押這種證件我家附近的白鹿洞租漫畫可不可以打折!

我要出示立委證,看看光華商場的台灣龍捲風可不可以買一送一!

我要出示立委證,看看是不是會變得更帥,因此有正妹喜歡我!(想像場景:在PUB中聯誼,低頭嬌羞的說,不好意思,我的工作是當立委!會不會很誘人,會不會~~(搖晃))

我要出示立委證,看看台灣的官方非水貨Wii是不是會馬上上市!

我要出示立委證,看看可不可以看免費棒球之外還把位階比我低的市議員檔在外面!

我要出示立委證,看看可不可以讓高樹瑪麗亞復出......

圖就是要這麼大才有震撼力!你說對不對,對不對!(蠕動)

Lucifer

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迴響(150)

迴響 from: Anna~ [訪問者]
如果Lucifer當選了之後,願意現場表演蠕動給大家看,
我就惠賜一票~
2007-12-02 @ 02:19
迴響 from: Cosmo [訪問者]
如果朱大可以讓高樹復出 我就投你一票! 還有不必去問標太郎啦!你不是早
就知道要怎樣把正妹嗎?光學滑鼠或是光學迷彩拿出來就好啦!(只是我也好
想問問標太郎,為什麼你家的妹都是正妹?還有要請他幫我製作消波塊,一塊
多少錢?最近我有很想讓他蒸發的人...)不是助理都可以叫小文,但是叫小文的都不只是助理(嘿嘿嘿~)
2007-12-02 @ 03:00
迴響 from: Stand alone [訪問者]
Cosmo大大 又遇見你了!! 好久不見

另外如果朱大想選立委 那我想台灣的政治或許還有救的機會吧 科科...

2007-12-02 @ 03:06
迴響 from: 松鼠翁 [訪問者]
朱大當選之後請務必讓蒼井空永保童顏

其他我都無所謂了......
2007-12-02 @ 03:21
迴響 from: 李目白 [訪問者]
不分區立委怎麼投票......那不是政黨提名的嗎...

看...真的超屌......立委耶!!!立委!!!!!!!
2007-12-02 @ 04:31
迴響 from: chs [訪問者] · http://terrylogin.blogspot.com/
我有個建議耶
路大直接登記參選總統吧
我想以阿宅眾及目前的大家對兩大黨杜蘭的實力
說不定就當選了
副總統就直接---找高樹,一掃過去八年大家一直看某副總統的鬱卒
行政院長找--志玲姊姊--可以振興經濟及推銷台灣觀光
國防部長--就是標哥--可以讓中共不敢打過來(標哥應該有恐怖的地下武力)以及把盡中華正妹的實力
內政部長--就是王世堅啦,他的造型大家晚上都不敢出門,治安一定好的
司法部長兼教育部長--馬英九先生啦,他道德操守操高又很會說教
水利局長兼體委會--謝長廷先生,因為他很會整治河川,又很會體操

內閣這樣應該就會贏了啦
另外一定要找那個台中市議員當特任進入聯合國大使啦
他都有辦法鑽進去這些國際組織的拉
2007-12-02 @ 06:20
迴響 from: Lane [訪問者]
啊...我贊成 chs 的提議!!!
而且內閣人選超棒!!!
對啦, 那個聯合國就是要靠默契才能進去的啊, 根本不用買甚麼公投票阿!

而且缺總統參選經費也可以跟阿宅募捐...
我一定會捐的!

2007-12-02 @ 07:05
迴響 from: yedan [訪問者]
嗯,所以最有價值的結論...

,就是推高樹瑪麗亞選總統啦。
2007-12-02 @ 10:50
迴響 from: 我是菜鳥 [訪問者] · http://blog.pixnet.net/give
推~

朱大的發文一直都是這麼鏗鏘有力又深入人(阿宅們)心阿
2007-12-02 @ 11:28
迴響 from: 簡尼夫德萊尼 [訪問者]
朱大叔上啊
你是我們阿宅之光
努力為我們宅一族謀福利
我要看到Leah Dizon!!!
2007-12-02 @ 11:50
迴響 from: Wanju [訪問者]
XDD
噴飯...
哈哈哈
朱大忙碌之餘
保重身體喔~
2007-12-02 @ 13:39
迴響 from: 番薯 [訪問者]
當上立委可以看免費棒球~
衝著這點有多少人傾家蕩產的去選阿...
2007-12-02 @ 15:20
迴響 from: alf [訪問者]
圖只要不大到超過我螢幕解析度(1024x768)我就很感恩啊!Orz
2007-12-02 @ 15:46
迴響 from: 空中的人形醫生 [訪問者] · http://qq0526.blogspot.com
不用傾家蕩產也能看棒球吧。。。。。。。
2007-12-02 @ 16:48
迴響 from: Kievj [訪問者]
朱大選總統啦!
我們支持您!
2007-12-02 @ 21:15
迴響 from: Reiner.樺 [訪問者]
我個人認為.......
朱大去當總統吧!

在朱大的英明指導下.....我相信台灣的經濟一定會好起來的!
光是謎片產業就可期待了.......

待日朱大當總統.....請多支持+照顧ACG產業....
女僕也算是ACG產業的一份子阿!!!!(啥鬼)
2007-12-02 @ 22:01
迴響 from: 朱恐龍 [成員]
蒼井空和蒼井優到底誰先出道啊?我記得我是先認識前者的~~~~

Lucifer

以前我就講過阿宅獨立建國的話我們要立刻定都光華商場,除了有科學園區的縣市之外其他都不要。(因為那裡國民最多嘛!)

然後要開始追殺飆車族,格殺勿論!因為聽說新竹那邊的國民被打的很慘~~~這種東西要再寫下去可以再寫一篇說哈哈哈~~~
2007-12-02 @ 22:46
迴響 from: 呼拉圈 [訪問者]
為了照顧阿宅們,應該推動動畫及AV的數位典藏計畫,所有上市的作品都必須取得典藏編號,並且送一份到國家圖書館存檔.並且促進網路通販,方便大家在家裡直接買(為什麼PCHOME可以買到德國的按摩棒,卻買不到德國的AV...-_-)
2007-12-02 @ 23:16
迴響 from: jazzlaba [訪問者]
話說標家子弟為什麼都可以把到正妹
關鍵還是在於銀彈攻勢啊!
如果我家有一尊3.5億媽祖保佑我
http://www.udn.com/2007/11/10/NEWS/FINANCE/FIN4/4090852.shtml

我想不管是蒼井空還是蒼井優
都不會只是我電腦裡的收藏了啦 ㄎㄎㄎ
2007-12-02 @ 23:33
迴響 from: 朱恐龍 [成員]
我已經把阿宅追女特效藥的名稱都想好了!趕快去註冊一定可以賺大錢!

正妹軟筋散!

正妹化骨水!

正妹腦神丹!

正妹半步顛!

正妹斷腸丸!

Lucifer

不知道這麼搞的,覺得這篇文的留言有種寂寞的感覺....orz....
2007-12-03 @ 01:23
迴響 from: 朱恐龍 [成員]
另外,我認為國防部長應該要找NIKE(有人說他改名Adidas了?!).......

只要他持續放片、加強放片力度和數量,鐵定讓解放軍腳軟啊!

NIKE的保證就是24小時完檔!

Lucifer

標太郎還是持續監督政府就好~~~
2007-12-03 @ 01:26
迴響 from: 李目白 [訪問者]
"宅到被提名選立委"

講真的,上面這七個字恐怕是台灣民主政治的里程碑。

屌到爆!
2007-12-03 @ 03:25
迴響 from: Kent [訪問者]
朱大,如果您當選立委,請記得提案:
自動下載BT檔案的機器跟硬碟要由政府補助提供優惠方案
如何,這提案可行吧?我一定投你一票!(目前心屬綠黨--不是DPP哦,是GP)
2007-12-03 @ 04:41
迴響 from: Cosmo [訪問者]
Stand alone
我也覺得朱大可以拯救台灣 不過是拯救台灣的阿宅們 看他開發的新藥
就知道在朱大的英明領導下 阿宅也會有春天!
蒼井空從良了啦!好久都不拍片了 又不引退又不拍片 擺給它爛...
"不知道這麼搞的,覺得這篇文的留言有種寂寞的感覺....orz.... "
這句話於我心有戚戚焉...一整個冷啊!明明就不錯笑啊...還是都忙著抓片去了?
2007-12-03 @ 07:20
迴響 from: cyber runner [訪問者] · http://orz18.blogspot.com/
Lucifer當選了之後,願意現場表演蠕動給大家看 +1
...
可不可以指定蠕動的部位...

截圖文字
小文 小文 我剛剛沒有...
沒有洨?沒有力?沒有暗下企?
...
謎樣的沒有呀~~
2007-12-03 @ 09:13
迴響 from: Derek Hsu [訪問者] · http://blog.derekhsu.homeip.net
朱大!現在要當不分區立委不難啊!因為現在採用單一選區兩票制,只要政黨得票比例超過門檻的話,就有機會當上不分區立委了,相信朱大只要跳出來部落格串連下,集合天下宅男的力量,朱大要當上立委不是問題。

只不過希望朱大上台以後,請記得制定「宅男法」保障宅男人權,還有「萌娘法」、「蘿莉法」、「御姐法」等等相關法律保障宅男福利啊!

拜託了,我這一票一定投在大大身上。
2007-12-03 @ 12:15
迴響 from: 陸仁賈 [訪問者]
朱大:
胖阿宅和胖神豬是不一樣的啊~~~, 神豬可以供人膜拜, 阿宅是被人唾棄,
做了立萎就可以當豬公, 你沒聽過大家都講"立萎豬公"嗎?當了豬公就可以
免費上酒家, 看球賽, 把正妹當然不是難事啊..., 朱大錯過一個升級成豬
公的機會, 真是可惜...
2007-12-03 @ 12:22
迴響 from: 正妹 [訪問者]
胖宅宅,不要在宅下去了
請sunny 老師教授你 美女追求技巧 吧

http://goods.ruten.com.tw/item/show?11071125170243
2007-12-03 @ 23:58
迴響 from: 朱恐龍 [成員]
阿宅提問時間:

請問Sunny老師第一張照片中為什麼要露大腿,會不會涼涼的?



請問Sunny老師第二張照片的烤鴨夾餅是不是很好吃?


請問Sunny老師第三張照片中的左右腳靴子為什麼高度不一樣?(而且你手上拿的相機是SONY還是NIKON的喔喔喔喔!我要型號~~~)




最後一個問題沒照片.....請問Sunny老師我有時一小時諮詢費可以收一萬塊,你收990,這樣是不是我跟你聊天每小時你要給我9010元?

很感激的胖阿宅Lucifer

2007-12-04 @ 00:12
迴響 from: baabuu [訪問者]
乾脆成立宅黨好了

次級團體就是去死去死團. . . . . .
2007-12-04 @ 10:50
迴響 from: 陸仁賈 [訪問者]
朱大:
我替Sunny老師回答一下好了:
1. 因為要順便作絲襪廣告, 所以露出大腿, 這樣贊助商給的錢
才會多, 因為穿了絲襪, 所不冷
2. 烤鴨夾餅還不錯吃, 不過Sunny老濕通常只吃烤鴨, 大的小的
粗的細的, 口味各有不同
3. 左右高低不同, 其實是人眼的幻覺
4. 這個問題我無法代Sunny老濕回覆, 建議朱大直接到拍賣網站
的問與答上提問...
2007-12-04 @ 12:07
迴響 from: 左光紫 [訪問者]
第一張照片拍的挺完美的。
正點啊!
抱歉,我只有這種感想而已。XD
2007-12-04 @ 13:08
迴響 from: 小明 [訪問者]
請請請...請問一下Sunny老師是誰??
2007-12-04 @ 13:10
迴響 from: 朱恐龍 [成員]
SUNNY老師在上面某一篇的留言有...orz...

Lucifer
2007-12-04 @ 23:04
迴響 from: kpp [訪問者]
朱大 不要在校想高樹瑪麗亞了 人家現在專心在演藝界發展
我們身為他的影迷要給他好好祝福,畢竟能轉職的av女優不多
雖然他現在的星路走的不是很順遂就是了.....
2007-12-05 @ 20:06
迴響 from: 同土去半一 [訪問者]
搶尾香=ˇ=
2008-11-05 @ 08:40
迴響 from: ninny [訪問者]
我才是尾香XD!
2008-11-05 @ 12:56
迴響 from: Black Sabbath-結晶體 [訪問者]
啊,
昨天在唱片行也是動作場面哩!
2008-11-05 @ 14:22
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